All good my friend, this is a genuinely frustrating problem. The UART number will be on the physical board, the physical representation of the UART are the ground, voltage, RX, and TX solder pads, so whichever number is next to "RX/TX" on the FC is the port to change in Betaflight. Make sure both the ELRS RX/TX wires are on the same number RX/TX solder pads on the board. Generally UART 1, 2, 3 are the ones the FC maker want you to use. Also, make sure you aren't on the same UART as your VTX if you are using an HD connector for the VTX and not soldering wires directly to the board, this might require looking at a wiring diagram for the FC.
Channel mapping deals with which stick is throttle, pitch, etc., I believe you probably need "AETR1234", just to try to keep it simple.
It was definitely a Joshua Bardwell video, but for some reason I cant find it right now, his clips channel also answers a lot of questions like this from his livestreams. I actually just use the google search ai for a lot of stuff now though.
Remember, dont test with props on inside!
Let me know if you get it working!